Keep Me Caffeinated, Creating, and Coherent

Black Coffee: my last remaining vice and focal lubricant.

Your support helps maintain my baseline functionality in a world that requires consciousness.

$1.50
Lurking¹

$2.50
Smirking²

$3.75
Working³

$4.25
Jerking⁴

Custom Amount

INDECENT PROPOSAL

The Real Story Behind the Coffee Fund

In which your unreliable narrator would rather just ask for help than sell you a cheeseburger¹.

Look, I try to maintain a certain level of dignity about these things, but here's the truth: I've been working on a 6-year-old MacBook Pro that's slowly giving up the ghost. We're talking a permanent, inch-thick dark bar running vertically down the screen, a creeping network of jittering dark lines along the bottom edge (with an odd organic arc where the two meet almost imperceptibly spreading like digital kudzu), and a charging situation that requires what I can only describe as ritualistic coaxing² to get the power flowing.

This has been my reality for almost a year now — ever since I had my first-ever laptop accident in decades of computing. (Yes, I'm that guy who's never even cracked an iPhone screen. Until now, apparently.)

So while I genuinely appreciate every coffee-fund contribution, what I'm also hoping to do here and via Dome Depot (aside from simply trying to keep hope alive) is scratch together enough change to replace this slowly dying machine.

Because, while I’ve always been a proponent of what I call “doing it punk rock” — meaning if all you have is duct tape, a Sharpie®³, and a photocopier, that’s what you use (and do the best damn work you can with the tools you have) — trying to do professional creative work on a computer that's essentially running on vibes and prayers? Not exactly optimal for anyone involved.

FOOTNOTES

IYKYK. And if you choose to Google “cheeseburger Menace II Society”, don’t come clutching your pearls around here.
Which curiously has nothing to do with coaxial.
Not a sponsor.
Get yourself someone who looks at you the way Tommy Lee Jones looks at Will Smith.